Big Brother, What's Yaoi?
by Uoi
Summary: Because every big brother has been asked the fateful question: What's Yaoi? But when Switzerland gets asked, cue Swiss rage and a very confused Liechtenstein. ONE-SHOT!


**A/N: In a fit of not knowing what to write for the next chapter of AtF, I was talking with one of my reviewers about a particular online meme, and this idea popped into my head, with their help, of course. I hope you enjoy it!**

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 **This one-shot is dedicated to GermanFanfictionfan. Thanks for the idea! Prepare to see a LOT of what we talked about on here.**

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If you asked anyone, they would have told you NOT to try to borrow any of Hungary's electrical devices. If you were a younger country and your innocence was still relatively intact, namely, still undamaged by America's hamburgers, you were FORBIDDEN from going onto any of Hungary's devices. For your own personal safety, and to ensure that you lose your innocence in a non-Hungary way.

So when Liechtenstein asked her older brother the fateful question, it was all he could do to stammer out a very shocked, "What?"

Liechtenstein, always patient with her big brother, repeated the question.

"What's Yaoi?"

It took Switzerland quite a while to fully comprehend exactly what his younger sister had said. Sure, she had her quirks, she had made him pink pajamas, which he wore at night despite them making him look like Poland, but this was beyond him.

"Where... Where did you learn that?"

His younger sister shrugged and said, "I was talking with a few other countries, and I borrowed someone's cell to call you, but I accidentally clicked on something else and saw the word "yaoi," so I asked Ms. Hungary about it and she turned all white and told me to ask Ms. Ukraine. but when I asked her she also turned white and told me to ask you."

She turned to find her older brother clenching his rifle, knuckles white, and breathing quite heavily. She was also pretty sure he was muttering something like " _Don't forego neutrality don't forego neutrality don't forego neutrality-_ "

"Big brother? Are you okay? You didn't answer my question..."

"Don'tforegoneutralitydon'tforegoneutralitydon'tforegoneutrality-"

"Big brother? Hello? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"DON'TFOREGONEUTRALITYDON'TFOREGONEUTRALITYDON'TFOREGONEUTRALITY-"

"Umm... Big brother? You don't have to answer it if you want, I was just curious... Big brother? Are you okay?"

"DON'TBREAKTHETREATYSTAYNEUTRALDON'TBREAKTHETREATYSTAYNEUTRALDON'TBREAKTHETREATYSTAYNEUTRAL-"

"Big brother?"

"OH SCREW IT, WHERE'S MY GUN?"

"Next to you, big brother."

"WHEN'S THE NEXT WORLD MEETING?"

"Tommorow, big brother."

Liechtenstein was still quite confused. Not only had her question gone unanswered, but now her normally less than placid big brother had probably erupted and was probably planning a war. Though she was confused on how he would do that, so her decided that her big brother was thinking of a way to answer it and would tell her the answer in the morning."

"It's getting late, Big Brother. We need to fly to Mr. Austria's house tomorrow, and we should go home and start packing."

Switzerland was still unresponsive.

"Big brother? You don't want to be late, do you?"

"Go back, Liechtenstein. I'll join up with you later."

"Oh... okay! See you later, then!"

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It was a first, this meeting.

For one, Liechtenstein had showed up by herself; apparently her older brother had been in some sort of a stupor and told her to go on without him while he was slumped over a glass of beer and a giant stack of paper in a restaurant of some sort.

Next, Switzerland hadn't shown up on time, and was now currently later than the Italy brothers, which is an extremely hard thing to accomplish. However, the meeting had to go on, and after a few calls to his cell, Austria started the world meeting.

"Hello everyone, and welcome to the world meeting. So, our first topic of discussion is on global warming. Anyone have any ideas?"

"YES!" America roared, as he jumped out of his chair, grabbed a giant poster with squiggly arrows and random drawings of the Superman logo. "My plan is for England to back me up, China to back me up, Russia to back me up, Germany to back me up, France to back me up-"

"SHUT UP! THAT ISN'T EVEN A PROPER PLAN, AMERICA!" England roared.

"Yes, it is! So since you're going to back me up-"

America's supposedly awesome plan was cut short by the sound of Switzerland barging in fifteen minutes late.

"Oh! Hi, Switzerland! Your job in my awesome plan is to back me up-"

"WHO SHOWED LIECHTENSTEIN YAOI?"

The force of the yell caused all the nations to back away slowly, and even forced America to sit down.

"WELL?"

"Switzerland-san, not during the meeting-"

"DID YOU SHOW HER YAOI? ARE YOU WANTING ME TO DECLARE WAR?"

"No! I was just saying that it's extremely rude to be yelling this in a hotel-"

"Wait, Switzerland, you're going to declare war?"

"Dude, that means you're getting rid of your neutrality! Are you?"

"America, shut up, please!"

The entire conversation was shut off by the sound of Switzerland slamming his gun down on the table, fuming.

"I'll say it one last time. Who showed Liechtenstein yaoi?"

Nobody wanted to answer.

"I KNOW ONE OF YOU SHOWED HER YAOI!"

And so, Switzerland slammed the stack of papers down onto the table.

"I'm foregoing my neutrality and declaring war on all of you."

"DUDE!"

"WHAT?"

"AIYAA, ARU!"

"Sounds legitimate."

"MON DIEU! ALL OF US!"

"Big brother..."

And that's the story of how a crazy Swiss shooter broke into an Austrian hotel, ran around a room shooting all the national ambassadors, and supposedly declared war on all the other countries of the world.

What no one understood, however, was how giant walls suddenly erupted on the borders of Liechtenstein and Switzerland, effectively shutting them out from the rest of the world.

"Do you think that Switzerland is going crazy?"

"I don't know, but how else can you explain the giant walls?"

"THE TITANS ARE COMING! THE TITANS ARE COMING!"

Everyone turned and stared at Japan, confused.

"Titans? Japan?"

Japan blushed and looked down, embarrassed.

"But do you seriously believe that he built those walls by himself? Honestly, those are almost 100 feet high!"

"On that day, humanity received a grim reminder..."

"Japan? Hello? Japan?"

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"Big brother, why are there giant walls around our borders?"

"To protect ourselves."

"Oh, okay."

It was a peaceful afternoon, with all their problems solved, and just the two of them reclining softly on a grassy hill.

"Big brother?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"What's yuri?"

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 **A/N: Well, extremely random ending. I was looking up pictures of the colossal titan and wrote the last bits in a fit of madness. I hoped you enjoyed it! Once again, thanks to GermanFanfictionfan for the idea!**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


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